Miss you...

Mama Zmysly, Ginny, My mom and I in 2005.


This weekend was amazing and busy.
Saturday we successfully pulled off a surprise party for my best friend Amber. Her boyfriend had been planning this for a few months and asked if we could have it at our house. I said of course, having no prior knowledge or experience with surprise parties it was a learning process. I decorated and made sure everything was in place, my mom helped a lot and also Joe, her boyfriend took care of most of things. It was a combined effort. I text messaged her around the time I was suppose to, saying my basement (that is being remodeled) started to flood. Luckily she didn't talk to me on the phone because she wouldn't have believed me LOL. She came in and the look on her face was priceless. I am so happy I could be a part of her day. She really has stood by me through everything I have gone through. She always listens, never judges me and has accepted Yuriy for who he is and treats him equally. That is why she is my best friend.

The next day was Mother's day. I had volunteered our house to have a early dinner with my family. I think we should put a sign out front saying Party House! LOL I love it, although the clean up sucks, I really enjoy having everyone over. Usually if we went anywhere Yuriy would get uncomfortable, especially in public, like a restaurant, he would want to leave within an hour or so. Here is his home, his sofa is his safe zone, and he will hang out with everyone and I don't have to worry about leaving early and miss out on spending time with my family and friends. So mom and I got dinner ready, while the kids and my brothers were outside in the back yard. My mom said she loved that everyone was laid back and just had a relaxing day. So it was a successful Mothers day.

Mother's day can be difficult for Yuriy as well as myself. It makes us reflect on how it would be if his mom were still with us. I considered her my other mom, she called me "Donia" which means daughter in Ukrainian. She loved her sons very much. It makes me think of when I had to tell Yuriy she passed away. The pain in his eyes and the tears that followed, will be forever burned in my memory. We miss her so much. If she would have waited, things would have gotten better. If she would have been able to she a glimmer of light through all the darkness, she would be able to be here in our house with us, enjoying her life. My heart aches for Yuriy and Andy. They were too young to have lost their mom. As I sit here writing, tears are flowing as if it were yesterday. Suicide is not the answer, whatever is wrong with your life, it will eventually get better one way or the other, I truly believe that because I have seen it. When I get weary I just pray that it will get easier...and with time it does.
This year was better, its been four years now and he doesn't hide in his room on holidays anymore and he is able to spend time with people without being sad. With time he has seen that he is very loved and I tell him all the time that his angel is watching over him.

Today Yuriy had physical therapy and he walked 1,430 feet with his trainer! No joke. We went to the forest preserves next to the facility and he just walked. His trainer Tomas is amazing, he is the best therapist we could have asked for. It was as if he were put in our life for a reason. Yuriy trusts him and enjoys working out with him. I don't know where we would be if we didnt find next steps. I just know Yuriy wouldn't be doing so well and he wouldn't be so healthy. The exercise they do with him, I wouldn't be able to do with him. I am so thankful for everyone there.

Well I should be going to bed its 12:30 so my whole "I'm going to try and go to bed earlier" went out the window, just like every night. I am a night owl, just like my mom and grandma, what can I say I guess it runs in the family! :)

<3 Aimee Z