They say that about raising children (which is true) but also fits with caring for a loved one with a brain injury. As much as I don't like to admit it, I am only one person. Shocking I know but it's true.
If it weren't for our main support system, we would not have gotten very far.
Tasks like going to the store can be a two person job for sure, one person to push the cart and Adelina and another to push Yuriy. It is sometimes the simplest tasks that can be the hardest. Going to a store without doors that open automatically can be a huge pain, the other day we went to the mall and of course I forgot and parked near the non automatic doors, well his brother Andriy was pushing Yuriy and I had Addie in the stroller, and some lady walked right past us with no offer of holding the door, which happens often, but the funny thing is she was wearing an American flag shirt. Well lady way to be patriotic and not hold the door open for a veteran lol.
I am so thankful for my parents, they are always helping and are very supportive in anyway they can be. I know this is not true for some but I am very lucky to have the best parents.
I know that Yuriy's mom and dad are also a big part of his recovery, they may not be here on this physical earth but they are with him daily.
Yuriy's brother Andriy took over the role of daytime caregiver a few years ago and I am so thankful for that. We had a few caregivers from agencies come out to help me during the day but none of them worked out, we have a lot of horror stories about them (we will save that for another blog). But nothing compares to family taking care of family. Yuriy is so much more himself when his brother is with him, they really are best friends and it makes me happy to see. His brother also has a wonderful girlfriend who helps us when she can and that is awesome!
We are so blessed to have a large family, I have two brothers, a sister in law and four crazy nephews that we love so much. I am so happy Adelina gets to grow up with her cousins and uncles and aunt. She loves when we go out of Saturdays with her cousins. Not to mention family near and far.
We have had so much help over the years it would be impossible to write everyone and every organization down although I could :) But to know that strangers are willing to help you even though they have never met you is the most amazing feeling in the world. To know that people took time out of their day and helped us, whether is was a benefit, work being done to our house, volunteering to clean our yard, sending a card, sending a Facebook message, those that pray for us, calling to check up on us, inviting us to outing and events, raised a service dog or sending Yuriy out of town for treatment know that we are thankful. I wish I was better at writing thank you notes but just please know that we are so very thankful and think of these things that have been done for us often.
Meeting families that are going through similar life struggles have been a huge part of my well being, knowing that I am not the only one going through this crazy brain injury caregiver life is comforting and sad at the same time. No one wishes they could become a part of this club but here we are. And we are one of the toughest groups I know. But we gain strength and knowledge from each other. I have learned more from sitting in a waiting room with moms, dads, brothers and sisters that are caring for their loved one than I could have ever learned in a classroom. I have been guided by many for different ways to help Yuriy heal and help him get as far as he can. We all share a certain drive that cannot be derailed easily. Not to mention that brain injury survivors themselves. They are tough and don't give up which helps Yuriy see that he should keep going too.
Doctors that believe the brain can heal itself. Doctors that actually listen to the wife when she says maybe he should go off of this medication and they actually listen. Doctors that will continue therapy even after others have said well he has platued at a certain level. Nurses and other medical professional that treat Yuriy like a human. They talk to him and ask him questions even though he can speak, they try to communicate with him, instead of talking just to me. And thank you for taking care of my husband when he gets too sick for me to care for him. Physical therapist and trainers that push themselves and Yuriy to the max.
His speech therapist at the VA is also amazing and has seen from day one that he has the ability to communicate and that he is 100% aware and understands every thing. She continues to try to get him the best technology the VA can buy to help him get his point across. It is a tricky road but I am glad she hasn't given up on him, like others have.
My best friend Amber.
Finding our faith again and joining the Ukrainian orthodox church has been a much needed piece in our life, they bring us happiness and friendship that we were very much missing. We have met many lifelong friends.
Fellow veterans. No long explanation needed, they just get it. They look at him with respect and appreciation. They thank him and truly care what is going on with him.
Brando Yury's service dog has made a huge impact on our life. He calms Yuriy's anxiety when most can't. He is a great companion and friend.
Last but not least our daughter, she is the light of our life and mommy and daddy's little helper. She takes good care of her daddy and truly has made our life better.
There are many more people that I would love to include but I'm afraid this will turn into a novel.
But even with all of that, there are tough days that cannot be avoided, but I just hold my head high and know that tomorrow is another day to try again. I think that those days are just as important because they make you appreciate the good days, they are important because we are human and need to know that its ok not to be ok all of the time.
Hope all of you know that we are thankful you are in our lives, whether its a big part or little, it means a lot to us.
Well off to bed I go. Hope you all have a great night!
<3 Aimee Z
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